v. moth·ered
- To watch over, nourish, and protect …
From dictionary.com
As a woman living on the East Coast, I often feel a little like I’m expected to be super-woman. You know the one: driven, accomplished women with husbands who seemingly need no relationship, and children who need even less. I haven’t often met someone like this, mind you, but it sometimes feels like that’s what we’re all supposed to be wanting.
Here’s my secret: I don’t! Sometimes we can reverse roles and I’m such a mess, and the best thing my husband can do is to check all his manly qualities at the door (even the strong arms and “I think you’re sexy” look). These are the times I feel most vulnerable, most scared of him seeing right through my daily face, and into depths of my soul even I didn’t know were there. These are the times I most love being married, and the times I most wish for a girlfriend to walk me through it instead of my dear husband. They are also the times that bond the two of us on a deep, soul-level. Some say these are the times for which we live.
More masculine qualities are least welcome at these times. His tendency to ask questions; the need to understand my emotions on a logical level; his desire to help me solve the problem; his fear of my tears. When he realizes that none of these are helping me, he can frequently switch gears to a side few get to see. I call this his “mothering” side, though it’s nothing like my own mother. I’m grateful for his more masculine qualities, but at these rare times, I’m even more grateful for his mothering abilities.
Once I’m “better”, he turns back into his fully manly self (arms and all!) and gets me to bed, protecting and watching over me in a way few mothers could match.
