A Wife Again?

I just came back last night from a much-needed vacation.  MrH and I went to Montana where we tubed, hiked, and biked (ok, so no biking, but it sounded good) to our heart’s content.  As we traveled, we made a really good team; it’s a feeling I want to hold on to.  Neither of us took stuff for granted and so we had a good understanding of what the other was thinking most of the time.  It somehow seemed easy to ask and there were fewer expectations placed on us, as well as fewer roles that I felt I somehow needed to play. 

On the plane home I felt really sad, and after some thinking about it, I realized that I’m terrified of resuming “real” life!  Scared of falling back into those roles; of nagging MrH; of making assumptions and having expectations of each other without communicating those.  The realization of all this took a while though, and during that, I just told him I felt overwhelmed by going back home.  He seemed to understand and was sweetly supportive of me.  I cried a little bit, up there in first class, but then felt better.  I think the vacation was so important to us – it took us out of that space, and now I want to stay out of it!

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