Going, Going… Gone …

Oftentimes, I get swept away easily in the excitement of some big new thing.  I love new things!  You get to google them and learn all about whatever the “thing” is.  You can go to the library and read articles, or learn about how to buy the best one, or do it the best way.  You can talk about it with others and find their hidden talents and passions.  And prejudices.  You can keep BUSY.  Isn’t it so great to be busy, rather than sad? 

How tempting it is to get swept up in something.  I realized recently that the more sad I feel, the more likely I am to start getting super excited about things.  The downside, of course, is that eventually it all crashes down around me and then I get really sad.  One moment of doubt, of lagging attention, of quietness and solitude, and the thought creeps in: “maybe this isn’t all that, after all.”  Uh-oh.  This thought, of course, somehow manages to develop into “and there’s starving children and war and poverty and nothing is worth doing!” 

For the past few months (ok, years), I’ve been working on stopping this cycle.  Is this something everyone goes through, or just a select few of us depression-prone over-achievers?  In that case, I suppose I’m special!  But seriously, it’s hard work living in a balanced way.  For a while, I was doing a lot of googling and talking about that.  Thankfully I realized I was just latching on to the latest “new” thing in my life.  These days are a tad better.  Building in some time each week to just relax, listen to my favorite music, journal, read, or just sit, has really helped me to look at things as exciting, but also in a realistic way.  Just because it’s new doesn’t mean it’s the answer to all my problems; nor does it mean the entire world is bad if this new thing fails to be the answer.  In Christian terms, I suppose “new things” are an idol to me.  But not to worry, we’re working on it. 

And now I’m buying a house – imagine all the new things involved in that!  There have already been some tears, and some mad excitement, but I haven’t swung between the actual extremes yet.  Maybe I’m making progress.


1 Comment

  1. February 3, 2007 at 11:26 am

    We kind of escape into our things. That’s comfortable, but it’s like a vacation. Sooner or later we need to go back home and there we are, mirrors, doubts and all.

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